Jim Sterling Funtimes

Posted on January 19, 2011

From abitha



Jim Sterling’s Twitter, explained (me celebrating finding out he has a twitter and standing on the shoulders of giants to bring you to a punchline which i concede is weak at best)

1 – Jim Sterling finds homosexual interactions so illegitimate as to be humorous.

2 – Jim Sterling wants to play Mindjack online, but has no presumptions that anyone will enjoy their $60 enough to play for over a week.

3 – Jim Sterling felt wrong for a very long time.

4 – Jim Sterling can’t even see popular movies in a timely fashion.

5 – Jim Sterling teaches people to be both funnier than him and more comfortable with sexuality (see tweet #1)

6 – Jim Sterling has slut-shamed everyone on Earth and set upon the dirty, dirty skies.

7 – Jim Sterling and a child have both learned the concept of a pun (or perhaps Jim is merely attempting to bring the slower members of his audience up to speed: “Uranus” sounds a lot like “your anus.”)

8 – Jim Sterling is not known to any television networks.

9 – Jim Sterling is reenacting one of Sophocles’s masterpieces.

10 – Jim Sterling is ashamed of his sexuality, but not so much that he won’t vaguely yet bawdily tell the world about it.

11 – Jim Sterling has a sticky keyboard.

12 – Jim Sterling has awarded the coveted title of Kanye West to some guy.

13 – Jim Sterling has awarded the title of Kanye West to some guy in lieu of any more accurate analogies.

14 – Jim Sterling has no opinion of Kanye West beyond an Internet meme involving something he did at an awards ceremony last year.

15 – Jim Sterling made a broad and poorly qualified reference to someone with whom he is only familiar through an Internet meme, which apparently bothered a bunch of crybabies.

16 – Jim Sterling is generally unfollowed with little fanfare, and finds it absurd that someone would be surprised he is telling jokes a year after their timeliness faded.

17 – Jim Sterling wants all of his followers to be reminded just how hackneyed his jokes are.

18 – Jim Sterling is plotting an act of violence, and money is no object.

19 – Jim Sterling is narrowing someone’s search down to a mere 16,000 tweets.

20 – Jim Sterling has insider information about a video game.

21 – Jim Sterling would like some help asking an undisclosed entity questions about a video game.

22 – Jim Sterling is being haunted by an admirable ghost.


Yup, Jim Sterling keeps his Patron Saint title intact.